A Maine Day

It is a beautiful Maine day, the kind of day I like to imagine when I am in Philadelphia and thinking of Maine. The sun is hot, the air is clear, everything is green and gold in the light. There’s a brisk wind making whitecaps on the lake and a sound through the trees. I am sitting on the deck, relaxing after my run, and thinking how lucky I am to be here.

Yesterday I did absolutely nothing. The day was grey and rainy, the perfect excuse to spend the day burrowed into the sofa, wrapped in a blanket. I watched a movie and read my book. I didn’t even bother to walk over to Bob and Jane’s for dinner, preferring to eat leftovers while sitting at the counter and leafing through a new cookbook.

It’s still so odd to be here without Steve. I feel slightly uncomfortable, always wondering what’s the next activity, what should I be doing. The house feels very big and empty to me. He’s everywhere but nowhere.