Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Hanging In
This is my challenge for the future: To construct a meaningful life without Steve. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Like having to carry a large and heavy stone everywhere I go, every minute of the day. It weighs on my stomach as soon I wake up. I get out of bed with it in my arms. I feel it on my back and shoulders as I go through the day. I take it to bed with me at night. I only put it down when at last I fall to sleep. I don’t think it will ever go away. I’ll just get stronger, I hope.
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3 comments:
You will indeed get stronger and it will get easier eventually.(I know not what you neccessarily what you want to hear) I know from seeing my mom go through something very similar. Just know that there are tons of people who love and support you, me being one of them.
last comment was me - jed
"IT" changes weight and tone but never goes away.......also takes on new facet of responsibility.....if you are lucky like me, it will be recognized and saluted by those who love and respect your position in the family and life. I think you have a few of those assembling..... It will be different but it will be ok. It will be challenging, but it will be ok. It will be frustrating, but it will be ok. It WILL be ok ......once you get past the lawyers and accountants, life will take on a very different hue which is up to you to change or implement. But the basics of the relationship with the 'other' carries into who you become....It may become OK but it will never be the same. That is the one concept most difficult to accept.....I'm still working on it. xxoo
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